Children are like diamonds. It is entirely up to us to make them shine or not. If we cannot help them shine, then at least we can help them not to break.
In this article, we will go through the 7 essentials of child abuse that every adult needs to be aware of to keep children safe.
1- What age range do children fall under?
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) defines a “child” as a person below the age of 18, unless the laws of a particular country set the legal age for adulthood younger. The Committee on the Rights of the Child, the monitoring body for the Convention, has encouraged States to review the age of majority if it is set below 18 and to increase the level of protection for all children under 18.
2- What is child abuse?
Child abuse is any action by another person (adult or child) that causes significant harm to a child.
The World Health Organization distinguishes four types of child abuse: physical, sexual, emotional and neglect.
Physical abuse means hitting, beating, and shaking.
Sexual abuse means sexual contact or exposure to sexual acts or materials.
Emotional or psychological abuse means threatening, insulting, ridiculing, or confining.
Neglect means failing, despite having the means, to provide medical care, education, shelter or other essentials for a child’s healthy development.
An abused child will often experience more than one type of abuse, as well as other difficulties in their lives. It often happens over a period of time, rather than being a one-off event. And it can increasingly happen online.
3- Child Abuse Statistics
- 5 children die every day because of child abuse.
- 1 billion children aged 2–17 years, have experienced physical, sexual, emotional violence or neglect in 2017.
- 1 in 4 adults were physically abused as children.
- 23% of the children were physically abused.
- 36% of the children were emotionally abused.
- 16% of the children were neglected.
- 18% girls and 8% boys were sexually abused.
- 90% of abused children know their abuser.
- Only 10% of child abuse victims disclose their story out of fear.
- Every year, about 41,000 children under 15 years are victims of homicide.
- Research shows that children with disabilities are four times more likely to suffer from abuse or neglect.
4- What increases the risks of child abuse?
First: Having parents or caregivers who:
- Suffered abuse or neglect as children.
- Misuse drugs or alcohol.
- Are involved in other forms of violence, such as intimate partner violence.
Second: Living in communities that:
- Have high unemployment.
- Lack support services for families.
- Have high tolerance for violence.
Third: Living in societies that:
- Don’t have adequate legislation to address child abuse.
- Have cultural norms that promote or glorify violence.
- Have social, economic, and health policies that lead to poor living standards or socio-economic inequality.
5- Child Abuse Consequences
Adults who were abused or neglected as children have a higher risk of:
- Perpetrating or being a victim of violence.
- High-risk sexual behaviours and unintended pregnancies.
- Harmful use of tobacco, drugs, and alcohol.
- Studies show that child abuse has high economic costs — in medical expenses, legal costs, and lost productivity.
- Child abuse can actually slow a country’s economic and social development.
6- How can we identify a child abuse case?
The appearance and behaviour of a child define the abuse type children are being exposed to.
Some of physical abuse appearance signs are bite marks, burns, frequent injuries, and/or wearing long sleeves to cover them. Children suffering physical abuse are usually shy, hard to get along with, avoidant, anxious, and/or afraid of parents.
Some of sexual abuse appearance signs are torn, stained or bloody clothes, and pain or itching in genital areas. Children suffering sexual abuse have inappropriate sexual touching of other children, extreme reluctance to be touched in any way, abrupt change in behaviour, and/or sexual behaviour or knowledge that is inappropriate for the child’s age group.
Emotional abuse behaviour signs are more obvious than appearance signs. Some of them are withdrawal from friends and social activities, frequent lateness or absence from school, loss of self esteem, defiant behaviour, and/or changes in school performance.
Some of neglect appearance signs are poor hygiene, dirty hair, body odour, clothes inappropriate for the weather, and/or in need of medical or dental care. Children suffering neglect are often tired, have no energy, lethargic, and/or beg or steal food.
7- How can we prevent child abuse?
1- Raise awareness of parents and caregivers regarding child development and healthy positive strategies for raising children.
2- Educate and train children to improve their knowledge of abusive situations and teach them social skills to protect themselves and to interact in positive ways.
3- Promote norms and values that support pro-social and non-violent behaviour.
4- Strengthen income and economic interventions to increase investments in children.
5- Respond and support services to help children that have been exposed to violence.
6- Create and sustain safe environments for children.
7- Implement and enforce laws, such as laws banning violent punishment of children by parents, teachers or other caregivers.
– United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF)
– World Health Organization
– INSPIRE: Seven strategies for Ending Violence Against Children
– National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children
– My Body is My Body Programme
– Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina
Nigeria’s migration paradox
Nigeria’s middle-class is increasingly opting to emigrate, with mixed fortunes for the country. Murtala Muhammed Airport in Lagos is the nation’s busiest airport.Credit: Federal Airport Authority of Nigeria (FAAN)/Ventures Africa.
Although Nigeria’s economy is causing its professionals to literally think on their feet, their efforts are propping it
Ahmed had every reason to feel euphoric about Lagos, Nigeria’s bustling commercial centre, in 2014. He had landed his dream job heading the legal department at a multinational, a position that carried a plum salary with perks—and conferred a foothold in Nigeria’s professional elite. He promptly married his longtime girlfriend and nestled into, by most standards, a comfortable middle-class life.
Yet 5 years later, he chose to quit his job and country to start over in Alberta, Canada, nudged by a sense of foreboding. “No matter how much you earn, it won’t guarantee some things for you. In fact, the more you earn, the more you will become fearful,” said Ahmed (not his real name). After weighing his economic and security prospects (armed men burgled his home thrice last year despite living 3 houses from a police station and repeatedly reporting suspicious neighbourhood activity), he relocated with his young family in April. “Leaving Nigeria is the best decision I’ve ever made,” he said.
Ahmed’s story reflects a growing pessimism about the future within Africa’s largest workforce. One in three Nigerians has considered emigrating, estimates research network, Afrobarometer, citing lingering socio-economic frustration. They are increasingly flocking to Australia and Canada, attracted by skilled worker programmes, living standards and relatively migrant-friendly cultures. Canada’s Express Entry report in 2018 recorded a 900% surge in Nigerian migrants over 3 years. Nigerians currently account for more refugee protection claims in Canada than any nationality; and incidences of overstaying visas, from North America to Europe, are on the upswing.
It’s noteworthy that around 247 million people live outside their country of birth — 90% of whom are voluntary economic migrants. At least half of them moved from developing to developed countries, and a sizeable portion are educated to university level. Skills-based emigration is neither new, nor has it ever been chiefly a Nigerian — or African — preserve.
The talent flight could further erode a country already grappling with a human capital problem it shouldn’t have in the first place. As Africa’s most populous country and largest economy, Nigeria constitutes one-fifth of sub-Saharan Africa’s workers. The UN predicts it will become the world’s third most populous nation—surpassing the United States—by 2050. Its 85 million-strong labour force is distinctive for its youthfulness (74% is under 44 years) in an aging world, with towering rates of urbanisation and entrepreneurship.
Amid strong demographics, Nigeria captures approximately half of its human capital potential, lagging 6 and 16 percentage points behind the sub-Saharan African and global averages respectively. A mixture of shortfalls in education, employment and skill entails that the nation is not optimising its population dividend.
The government, now in its 2nd term, has had scant success in substantively rebooting a hamstrung economy compounded by seismic gaps in infrastructure and public services.Unemployment has risen through 15 straight quarters, percapita income is at a 4-year low and still falling; while inflation is in double-digits. Consequently, Nigeria now harbours most of the world’s extreme poor people, according to the World Poverty Clock.
But the country has always retained a flair for contradictions. If brain drain highlights Nigeria’s deficiencies, it also hints at its possibilities. PwC reckonsNigeria makes up a third of all migrant remittance flows to Sub-Saharan Africa, with last year’s figures up to 11 times greater than the country’s foreign direct investment proceeds in the same period. Inbound remittances for 2019 are projected to reach $25bn. And that’s from official channels alone. The African Development Bank thinks unofficial remittances.
are about 50% of the official total. That would peg total migrant remittance inflows at around $40bn — roughly 10% of Nigeria’s GDP and over 3 times its oil-generated revenue.
“[Nigeria’s] biggest export is not oil, our biggest export is Nigerians,” writes Dr. Andrew Nevin, Chief Economist at PwC Nigeria. “People with skills are saying their skills cannot be monetised here…but we cannot deny that the only thing holding up the economy is the incredible Nigerian diaspora.”
If the government does not enact reforms to stem the outflow, or tap into its diaspora capacity, Nigeria could ultimately concedea chunk of its most promising generation yet—and possibly their children— to this wave.
When was the last time you checked your EGO?
Ahmadou DIALLO – Storyteller and Coach
A couple of weeks ago, I was invited by the Airbus Leadership University team, Nelida Al Husseini and Paul Conway, to participate in their yearly event: “Partners’ days” in the Toulouse campus. It’s a two days yearly event where they invite all the partners (coaches, connectors, facilitators) to thank them for their support. They are helping add values to our journey as Airbus employees via coaching, trainings, workshops and team events.
It was a thrilling experience for me to be part of these two days and I could feel the positive energy in the room for those two days. What was even more exciting for me was the possibility to meet coaches that provided me with some trainings that were life changing for me.
One of those coaches was Olivier LASSERRE, who provided me with a training on how people can make the difference in project management. It was almost 10 years ago since I attended that training and as of today, I have a vivid memory of those 5 days we spent together.
Olivier introduced me to three books that will go to change my life:
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy by Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall B. Rosenberg
- Who Moved My Cheese?: An A-Mazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson
- How Full Is Your Bucket? from Tom Rath
I cannot tell you how often I was frustrated by people and how using nonviolent communication helped me, both in the professional and personal aspects of my life.
I embraced and welcomed change in my life after reading the book “Who moved my cheese?”. This is the first time I realised that ly comfort zone is my dead zone.
While reading the third book, “How Full Is your Bucket?”, I learned a lot about myself and how it was important to fill my bucket with positive energy. Talking about energy, one of the main sources of depletion of our energy is our EGO:
- E as Energie
- G as Go
- O as Out
I found that, by checking my EGO from time to time, I was able to protect my bucket from depleting. I found myself having more willpower because I let things go more quickly and I don’t lose my energy and my time trying to bend the universe beyond my sphere of influence.
So I would like to thank you Olivier LASSERRE for the impact that you had and you are still having in my life.
“The best athletes in the day, the Gretzkys, the Michael Jordans, they all had a coach. Still to this day, the best have coaches. Because the coach can see what you can’t see.” Tony Robbins
During those partners’ days, I was surprised to see Olivier again as part of the partners. He did not recognise me. I went to him to remind him about our encounter and how he has impacted my life. He has his own coaching firm: Vert Girafe. If you happen to look for a person that can help you see the unseen, go to Olivier and say to him that “Mad sends his regards!”. And thank you to Nelida and Paul from the Airbus Leadership university for giving me the opportunity to be part of the partners’ days.
When was the last time you did an EGO check?
How full is your bucket?
Who is your life coach, and why?
By: Ahmadou DIALLO
“It is only when we get kicked down that we see what we are made of. It is easy to be positive when everything is going well, but the heart of all great endeavours is the ability to stagger back to our feet and keep moving forward, however grim it gets”. ~ Bear Grylls
This is one of the most difficult and yet necessary skills to learn and master. Resilience is defined as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”. It is through moments of adversity that our resilience is tested and gets developed. Without adversity, there is not room for resilience. The great news is that we all have the innate ability to rise up from challenges;the question is how deep within are you digging to reach this strength to overcome the difficult times?
My resilience was put to the test during the long illness and ultimate passing of both my parents. This period lasted for exactly two years. It was the most difficult time for my family and I. There were moments where I felt that I was going to break but my siblings and I stuck together and fed each other with strength in those weak moments. During this time I had to tap to the higher power, in addition to the support from my siblings, relatives and friends. I had to see the light and silver lining amidst the dark cloud that was hanging on our lives.
I had to have the courage to carry on with life when the two people who had always been there for me, carried me, fed me, sacrificed for me, loved me, cared for me and would deny themselves so that I can have – could no longer physically do that for me and my siblings. I had to trust that I can be able to do all these things myself, without them. I had to cut all dependence from them and tap into my inner strength. I had to stand firmly on my feet and keep moving forward.
In hindsight, going through this hardship was necessary for me to do that which I was born to do. I had to endure the pain, to learn how to let go of the people that I mostly treasured and to also trust the process. The irony is that as I’m writing this, I’m going through another phase of adversity in my life; a different kind of adversity. I’m reminded of this past experience and only hope that this is yet another opportunity for elevation.
Resilient people are often admired by others. People would ask questions such as, how does she/he do it? How do they manage to keep on bouncing back? Well, I’m here to tell you that it can’t happen without going through the difficult, uncomfortable process and being stretched. It is their ability to endure the process that makes people resilient. They don’t let adversity define them nor define their destiny and they have scars to show their experiences.
They don’t allow the difficulties to paralyse them. Instead, they use it as an opportunity to re-evaluate themselves and seek growth opportunities.
How can you use your scars in a positive light? How can you turn those storms into rainbows? I believe that the storms happen for a reason. Don’t let those experiences go to waste. Don’t just survive adversity and go through it in vain but transform and triumph through it. Granted, the process is not easy and it is not fun at all. But the key to this transformation is persevering.
Having tenacity during the difficult time will bring meaning to the experience and in the process you will have a sense of accomplishment. You need to commit to making an effort and to take small steps, as long as you are moving forward.
Thato’s nuggets on building resilience:
- Actively remind yourself of the strength you have and continuouslyharness this inner strength
- See the effects of adversities as temporary rather than permanent
- Build the spirit of gratitude; every day, find things to be grateful for
- Always have positive thoughts and images of the future; let this push you to do more
- Completely get rid of the victim mentality!
“It is through adversity that our resilience is tested, that we get renewed, that we grow and that we get prepared for the next phase in our lives. Adversity is necessary and cannot be avoided”. ~Thato Dineo Belang
Speaker| Coach| Writer
Johannesburg, South Africa