“It is only when we get kicked down that we see what we are made of. It is easy to be positive when everything is going well, but the heart of all great endeavours is the ability to stagger back to our feet and keep moving forward, however grim it gets”. ~ Bear Grylls
This is one of the most difficult and yet necessary skills to learn and master. Resilience is defined as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”. It is through moments of adversity that our resilience is tested and gets developed. Without adversity, there is not room for resilience. The great news is that we all have the innate ability to rise up from challenges;the question is how deep within are you digging to reach this strength to overcome the difficult times?
My resilience was put to the test during the long illness and ultimate passing of both my parents. This period lasted for exactly two years. It was the most difficult time for my family and I. There were moments where I felt that I was going to break but my siblings and I stuck together and fed each other with strength in those weak moments. During this time I had to tap to the higher power, in addition to the support from my siblings, relatives and friends. I had to see the light and silver lining amidst the dark cloud that was hanging on our lives.
I had to have the courage to carry on with life when the two people who had always been there for me, carried me, fed me, sacrificed for me, loved me, cared for me and would deny themselves so that I can have – could no longer physically do that for me and my siblings. I had to trust that I can be able to do all these things myself, without them. I had to cut all dependence from them and tap into my inner strength. I had to stand firmly on my feet and keep moving forward.
In hindsight, going through this hardship was necessary for me to do that which I was born to do. I had to endure the pain, to learn how to let go of the people that I mostly treasured and to also trust the process. The irony is that as I’m writing this, I’m going through another phase of adversity in my life; a different kind of adversity. I’m reminded of this past experience and only hope that this is yet another opportunity for elevation.
Resilient people are often admired by others. People would ask questions such as, how does she/he do it? How do they manage to keep on bouncing back? Well, I’m here to tell you that it can’t happen without going through the difficult, uncomfortable process and being stretched. It is their ability to endure the process that makes people resilient. They don’t let adversity define them nor define their destiny and they have scars to show their experiences.
They don’t allow the difficulties to paralyse them. Instead, they use it as an opportunity to re-evaluate themselves and seek growth opportunities.
How can you use your scars in a positive light? How can you turn those storms into rainbows? I believe that the storms happen for a reason. Don’t let those experiences go to waste. Don’t just survive adversity and go through it in vain but transform and triumph through it. Granted, the process is not easy and it is not fun at all. But the key to this transformation is persevering.
Having tenacity during the difficult time will bring meaning to the experience and in the process you will have a sense of accomplishment. You need to commit to making an effort and to take small steps, as long as you are moving forward.
Thato’s nuggets on building resilience:
- Actively remind yourself of the strength you have and continuouslyharness this inner strength
- See the effects of adversities as temporary rather than permanent
- Build the spirit of gratitude; every day, find things to be grateful for
- Always have positive thoughts and images of the future; let this push you to do more
- Completely get rid of the victim mentality!
“It is through adversity that our resilience is tested, that we get renewed, that we grow and that we get prepared for the next phase in our lives. Adversity is necessary and cannot be avoided”. ~Thato Dineo Belang
Speaker| Coach| Writer
Johannesburg, South Africa
Anna Collard: Finding the optimistic within the pandemic
Anna Collard, CEO, Popcorn Training, a subsidiary of KnowBe4
The coronavirus pandemic has hit society, business and education at a speed that few could predict, and shaken foundations in ways that none could have anticipated. In the news, only a few items escape Covid-19 in the title. On social media it’s memes and fears about the virus. It’s hard for people to remain upbeat in the face of lockdowns, limited social contact and complex working conditions. Or is it?
“Whatever you focus the most on, that’s what you will get more of,” says Anna Collard, CEO, Popcorn Training, a subsidiary of KnowBe4. “Even before coronavirus there was enough bad news online and on social media to make most people want to sit in a dark room. At this time, when the entire world is shifting on its axis, it has never been more important to focus on the positive and the ways in which this change can benefit us.”
The digital lifestyle
Yes, digital working from home has been thrust upon us, but what stands out in the midst of all the bad news is how most companies could do just that – send their employees home. It highlights the true value of the internet and the IT teams that are working to make it happen and the potential that the digital lifestyle could offer South Africa in the future. From e-learning to working from home to building new businesses that will shine in the post-covid-19 era, society is rapidly advancing to becoming completely digital in an incredibly short period of time.
This digital evolution has also made a huge difference to people who are locked in alone or who crave human contact. Apps are bringing people together in new ways and giving people the chance to reconnect when times are tough. These same apps are being used in virtual conferencing and meetings so that teams can connect and businesses can keep moving into an uncertain future.
The wealth of information
There is immense value in information and coronavirus has brought that to millions of people who are now more aware about hand hygiene and health. This has meant that these people know more about washing their hands, distancing themselves from ill people and minimising the spread of disease than ever before. This will not only help in slowing the spread of coronavirus but the spread of other diseases today and in the future.
The security factor
Organisations are more aware of security than ever before because their employees are working from home and opening up new avenues of risk. This is the perfect time to secure Wi-Fi routers, train people to learn more about phishing and scams, and to protect people from fraud. Companies are investing more into security controls and training to help protect both their assets and their employees. KnowBe4 have created a lot of free content helping companies secure their home workers by making them more aware of the cyber threats and how to stay safe while working from home.
A moment of stillness. An hour of boredom. While this may not be possible for those with families, these moments are invaluable when it comes to igniting creativity and innovative thought. This lockdown could inspire people to come up with new ideas and new businesses, give entrepreneurs the time they need to reshape their ideas, and result in unexpected disruption in unexpected spaces across the world. Creative solutions are definitely needed right now and this time of enforced solitude and thinking is an opportunity for people to find them.
Appreciation and empathy
In Cape Town a restaurant owner shut her doors firmly, more worried about those with HIV than her bottom line. In Johannesburg, the owner of a car repair shop spent his weekend buying supplies for the old age home about to enter lockdown so that the residents didn’t risk their health. Empathy is changing the way people engage with one another while appreciation of the little things and these moments are allowing us to see what’s really important.
Cynthia M. Wright: Thoughts on IWD 2020 – Each for Equal
Cynthia Musafili Wright
Leading with inordinate authenticity as a substitute for the adoption of personalities basing on other’s expectations might crack more governance potentiality in women and, at the same time, hasten their influences within their respective organizations, according to the United Nations. If women are not authentic in society and at the same time are not recognized, appreciated, and respected,most would want to do what is required of them to perform and succeed in most departments.
Additionally, in case the political/ competitive societal behavior is harmful, women might be forced to be something that they are not leading to gender mainstream issues. Hence, women might feel unworthy and unsustainable to do what they have to do for authentic leadership. Men, on the other hand, when asked to comment about their level of authenticity, might assert that being authentic is not a perfect ideal or acceptable in the society/ workplace.
In the contemporary out weighed male society, women have struggled to be authentic. Women have to conform to the societal principles and femininity to fit into society without seeming masculine. The discord of upholding such a sweet spot is hard and more draining for women. Women can, therefore, flourish in a male subjugated culture. However, it comes with enormous emotional and psychological costs. Women must nurture a compelling, authentic, and feminine societal presence.
In simpler terms, women must focus on their strengths if they want to cultivate authentic leadership and not copy what men do to make their presence seen. Authentic leadership,powered by a commanding purpose,assists other leaders (men and women) in inspiring others. Both men and women can display dominant and authentic leadership ideologies. The promotion of feminine authentic leadership doctrines must not be regarded as a male-female issue. It is all about whether society overlooks certain physiognomies vital in navigating global and
communal/ societal challenges. Highly authentic leaders can also articulate their life choices, for instance, work-life balance, bearing children, freeing oneself out of bad situations, managing their careers, and setting their financial goals. When women can effectively manage these life goals, authentic leadership qualities often emanate among them. Highly authentic women leaders determinedly design their personal lives according to their top-most life precedence.
“If they can’t lift you. They can’t drop you. Step into your power” (The Purposeful Leader – 10 Steps to Becoming the Leader You are Born to Be – On Amazon) There are four significant strategies women can apply to lead authentically. Women must increase their self-awareness. Increasing self-awareness is one vital component of acting authentically. It also makes women acceptable and trusted with leadership positions. Once women know their strengths and values, they must adequately assess and also evaluate themselves and pinpoint what is best for them.
After evaluating themselves, women must take action, starting with smaller steps and slowly integrate the values that align with their values and behaviours. Getting support from men helps in personal development among women and the promotion of gender equality in society. Developing authentic leadership qualities requires risks and women having faith in their judgments. When in power, women must also avoid acting like men as it makes them lose their authenticity. Trusting in their talents and abilities is what makes women authentic leaders.
Women must not be overjoyed by the powers granted to them while in leadership positions. They must make judgments and act beyond the societal stereotypes to pave the way for other young leaders after them to see them as authentic leaders. They can do this by creating gender equality programs to help upcoming women leaders know their worth in the society.Women in leadership positions must also have a personal social responsibility to create and motivate other leaders. They must immediately start capitalizing on their instant successors so that we can create a ripple effect.
Leadership must be quantifiable, and one effective way to do so is the creation of a more authentic leader. They also need to exhibit the qualities that made earn those positions. That is what makes gender equality in leadership more sustainable.
Article By: Cynthia Musafili Wright, A speaker, Author, Entrepreneur, Aged Care Clinical Consultant and Philanthropist.
Visit: Cynthia Musafili Wright
Oyetola Oduyemi: Thoughts on IWD 2020 – Each for Equal
Oyetola Oduyemi, Executive Director at tengvoX Consulting
Each for equal to me means – Acceptance. Fairness. Partnership. Support. Giving opportunities along lines of competence, skills, interest, desire, ability. Not gender or race or tribe, or any divides irrelevant, or that should be irrelevant, to the pivotal task of nation-building that we have at hand.
Parts make up the whole. When some parts are prevented from performing their roles, or are rendered ineffective and can only perform sub optimally, the state of ‘wholeness’ will never be achieved. When the human population takes away the opportunities for women to contribute to advancement – of communities, countries, continents, and the planet, due to fears, insecurities, cultural history, ignorance, and stereotypes; we will never achieve the level of development needed to propel us forward as a people. We need to support one another, to achieve our goals of sustainable progress.
Changes I want to see
Do not underestimate, or ignore the potential of women. Nor should anyone be threatened by this. We need less competition and more collaboration unhindered by gender lines.
One company adopted the pose of a man and a woman combining to strike the #eachforequal pose. This resonated strongly with me because it spoke of partnership, alliance, cooperation of all; each gender- man and woman, collectively taking a stand for equality. This is what we need – to collaboratively create a gender equal world, free from labels and preconceptions.
To the women, I applaud us. Our uniqueness, strength, and drive. And I encourage us to not give in or give up. When faced with existent discrimination, we have two choices. The injustice of being treated and viewed with prejudice can be demoralizing, but as women we must stay strong and motivated. Make the choice to drive gender parity, be letting all see that we are not only capable, we are indeed invaluable. Let us choose to stay present, and give our best.Not just for ourselves, but also for generations of women to come.
Visit: tengvoX Consulting
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